Travel Frustrations: How Airports Work

Let's be honest with one another. There's no other way to be.

A big part of the reason a lot of people hate airports is because they are either too dim, or too selfish, to understand how airports work. From carry-on luggage the size of small aircraft carriers to waiting until the last possible minute in the security line to remove the contents of a fair-sized 7-11 from your pockets to generally just not working and playing well with others, the dreaded THOSE people have devolved air-travel into one of the least enjoyable means to get from Point A to (after a stop at Point B and Possibly Point C) Point D.

Of course, it doesn't have to be this way, just as driving in Houston Texas doesn't have to be an exercise in shit-showery. Airports, like roadways, operate with a beat that's pretty easy to follow if you just pay attention.

It all starts upon arrival. Give yourself plenty of time. The TSA says 2 hours but the truth is, if you're in a smaller airport, that's probably a little excessive.  When I fly out of IAH or HOU in Houston? Yup, I'm there two hours early. Of course, I'm also factoring in a short meal and a cocktail. If I fly out of say, TUL? Two hours is way too long. I'm typically there around an hour before my flight and I always make it with time to spare. But read the room, if it's a Holiday weekend it might take longer, on a Wednesday in February shorter.

Second, If you're driving a car and dropping off a passenger please drop them off and clear the unloading lane. I realize you have to say goodbye, and that this is the love of your life leaving and you need to be with them for five precious minutes longer. But, you don't. You should have had sex/a last meal/last moments together the night before your flight. The airport departures lane is not the place for this to happen.

Now lets go to the check-in process.

This might seem a novel idea but once we hop out of the parking shuttle, before we go inside, Mrs. TPM and I remove all metal objects from our pockets and person and place them in our carry-on bags in easy reach.  Typically I go to the outside wall, put my checked bag (or roller-board) on the ground against it, stack my "personal item" (i.e. backpack or duffel) on top and put my wallet, car keys, watch, rings, FitBit, vapes, and anything else in my pocket in my carry-on. When I go up to check in the only two things I have still on my person, and not in my bag, is my phone and ID. I need my ID to check my bags and my phone to pull the reservation number from to start the check in process at the Kiosk.

In all the bag check process for us takes all of 10 minutes, and that's if there's a line and a crowd.

Security.

I've already put everything away so now I stow my cell phone in either the side pouch of my duffel or in the side netting of my backpack. The only thing that I have out is my ID and boarding pass. That's all I need.  We both have TSA pre-check (the best money you'll spend travelling, so I don't have to take off my shoes, belt (although I sometimes do because the buckle can set off the metal detector) or remove my computer items from my bag. I'm through security in less than a minute (again, longer if there's a line) and on to the conveyor belt.

When we hit the belt to have our bags scanned the process is simple, into a pouch goes our ID and boarding pass (you won't need the latter until you board the plane) we push our luggage onto the belt and walk, metal free, through the detector.  Yes, it's a bummer when you get selected for additional screening but them's the breaks. After screening we find an empty bench and start the process of pulling out our rings, phones, belts, watches, wallets, Fit Bits, etc. and getting them placed back where they belong.

Once we're put back together, we each head to the restroom, one watching the bags while the other is inside. After that, we usually head to some place for a bite and a cocktail.

Important note in these airport restaurants, when seated at a table, please place your bags either under your table or on the ground in front of your chair. Not on the table next to you, not in a walk way where everyone is going to trip over them, and not on a chair at the table next to you. This is just simple courtesy but it's not widely practiced.

On a normal trip we have arrived at the airport, checked our bags, gone through security and had a quick bite to eat and a cocktail (or three) at a restaurant, and typically it's still around 30-45 min until our flight. At this point we'll amble over to the gate, each of us will take turns making one final restroom trip, Mrs. TPM will run into a store and grab water and soft drinks for us, and then we put all of our bags on an end chair and stand up until the flight boards. I don't get sitting in the lobby especially when you're about to be seated inside a pressurized metal tube for several hours. Stand up, stretch your legs. Trust me, you'll feel better on the flight.

In my just completed mini-series regarding preparing for a casino trip I mentioned the importance of just having even the most basic of plans when traveling. This is a far more specific example but it provides you with some details about how we get through airports quickly and efficiently.

I'm a firm believer if most people would do this we would live in a better, and saner, travel world.

Give it a try next time you fly. Or, just make it work for you.