Preparations for a Casino Trip Step Four: Make Sure your Transportation is Covered/Planned to all Destinations

During the early part of 2021 getting around Las Vegas was, to be blunt, a huge, stinking mess. Uber/Lyft were still not allowed to surge price, the State was still offering the Federal boost to unemployment and many workers, understandably worried about contracting COVID-19 due to the absence of a vaccine, decided that the better decision for them, and their families, was to stay home.

To be honest I did not blame them.

Today things are opening up a little but staffing shortages still mean that taxis, ride share, and even Limousines, are in shorter supply. (Word on the Street [OK, Twitter] is that the Cosmopolitan is out-sourcing their Limo service to Presidential for high-rollers these days)

While Las Vegas is, and can be, a fun place, it's certainly no fun if you're stuck somewhere on the other side of the Strip, 40 minutes prior to the start of your show and there's nary a taxi or ride share to be found.

Want to really find yourself frustrated? Try hopping off of the plane and seeing the Taxi and Ride Share lines longer than lines for bachelors lined up to get a chance to kiss Miley Cyrus.  Believe me, despite my lack of interest in Ms. Miley, that's pretty long.

I recommend looking online and purchasing a round-trip Limo package to/from the airport to your hotel in Vegas. For one, you skip the line, the driver will usually meet you with your name in an iPad in Baggage Claim and you can have all of the taxi and ride share folks wondering if you're a high roller, they will carry your luggage, sometimes you can make a stop at a liquor store and stock up on beer, liquor, water, energy drinks etc. for your room, and oft-times these packages come with a bottle of Sparkling Wine. (They will say Champagne, but they use that term loosely at times.) 

Most importantly, when you're ready to head to the airport, when everyone else is in the Taxi line fervently checking their watches and hoping they don't get long-hauled on the way back and actually make their flights (oh yeah, one more plus, you don't have to worry about long-hauling because you pay a flat rate) you're out there over by the valet casually waiting for your car to show up, that no one else is going to fight you for, who will get you to the airport as leisurely (or as quickly) as you like.

The best part?  The round-trip rate is only slightly more expensive than a cab would be.

I also choose a limousine service if I'm transferring from one resort to another in the middle of my stay. No Champagne usually, but far less hassle as well.

Now, what I said above was for getting to your hotel, in Vegas, the issue of getting around town from resort to resort is a personal one, and in most cities (including Vegas) you're going to be limited to four options.

1. Taxi Service Different cities have different qualities of Taxi service. In some cities, such as Vegas, the service is quite robust. On others, such as Lake Charles, it's very spotty. The problem with all is the age-old issue of long-hauling. Some cities/companies have attempted to get around this with flat-rate rides, which charges a rate based on where you are going from and to. This is in an attempt to combat the ride-share companies of course, it makes long-hauling not a concern, and it's a certain step in the right direction.

2. Ride Share Despite their detractors (and their are many) Uber/Lyft and the other ride share companies have a lot of proponents and offer real flexibility getting around (most) towns of any real size. Yes, surge pricing is a problem to those lacking a general understanding of the law of supply and demand, and many drivers are leery of returning to work because riders are becoming increasingly anti-social, but overall we've found it to be a great way to interact with the locals and learn a lot about the cities that we've visited.

3. Public Transportation Again, the quality and robustness of this option will vary widely depending on where you are. In some places, public transportation is actually a very good way to get around town, in some, it's non-existent. Another variable in this is how comfortable you are riding in a bus, or train, full of total strangers. If that kind of things is outside of your comfort zone, this might not be a viable option.

4. Rent your own car I know a lot of people that do this in Las Vegas, and this is my go-to option in other casino cities in which I have to fly to. In most non-Vegas casino cities the casino you are in is the only thing remotely close, with almost nothing in walking distance. In order to explore the city, or go eat at a restaurant somewhere else, having a rental car might be your only viable way to get around.

If you're driving to your local, of course, you will have your own car and none of these should be a concern.

Unless you've been drinking.  And please don't drive under the influence.

Preparations for a Casino Trip Step Three: Check the Weather and Pack Accordingly

I know, I know, this one seems easy.

"Well, of course I packed for the weather you dummy, do you think I'm dense?"

No, I don't. As a matter of fact because you're reading this blog, and because you follow me on Twitter and YouTube I know that you are an incredibly intelligent person. You are admired by all around you and they stand in awe of your oratory skills and incomparable decision making.

But again, this post is not directed toward the veteran casino patron, it's directed for those of you who stumble on to this blog and might be planning your first casino trip but are a little bit in the dark about what to expect.

And it's OK to be ignorant of those things. Ignorance just means that you have not been exposed to something yet. Ignorant is not a bad thing, it's just a thing.  We are all born ignorant, we have to acquire stupidity.

Good news, in the United States of America, almost all casinos operate under a casual dress code. You need to be wearing clothes (shirts, shorts, shoes/sandals etc.) but outside of that there is really not much else. Heck, I've seen people in the Aria playing slots in their swimsuit with a bathrobe and slippers (provided by the casino of course) and that' about it.

So, in the Summer, pack shorts and t-shirts, (even sleeveless is OK) wear flip-flops, it's really no big deal. If you're going to a casino in Europe a friendly reminder here is that they all do have more stringent dress codes so do your research before travelling abroad (when we're allowed to do that again obviously).

But also remember this: They keep it COLD in casinos. And they do this for a reason. A cold gambler is an AWAKE gambler, and an AWAKE gambler is more likely to keep playing longer. So, if you're cold natured, bring a hoodie or a light jacket, even in the Summer (Mrs. TPM does). In the Winter your best bet is to layer, and wear outer layers that are easily stored (wrapped around the shoulders, waist etc.) This is especially true in Vegas during Winter/Spring/Late Fall where it can be downright cold in the mornings and evenings and rather warm during the heat of the day. Just because the weather outside is bake cookies on the car dashboard hot, does not mean that the casino is going to be the same way. In short, be prepared.

Swimsuits are great on pool days, but don't forget a cover-up for walking back to your room (you're not allowed to bring the towels out of the pool area) and you're probably not going to be allowed to walk through the casino shirtless (men) or in a bikini (ladies) to get back to your room.

If you're going to eat at a nicer restaurant they are probably going to require shirts with sleeves. Some will be business casual and your shorts will be right out. Some shows are like this as well. Typically I bring two nicer outfits for fancier places and that's about all I need.  Of course, I normally wear collared, button front, short-sleeved shirts so really all I need are a nice pair of shoes and khakis, your mileage may vary.

Don't forget your toiletries, sun-screen, and two extra pairs of clothes. One for walking around town in case an accident happens (spills, on the casino floor, can and do happen) and one comfortable option in case you spend time in your room (gym shorts, t-shirt etc.) You'll find this very important if your room has a balcony.

Remember to bring power cords, because nothing sucks worse than having your phone, iPad, etc. run out of power, and organize and secure any medicines, supplements, etc. that you need. 

I save space by flying to my destination in the same clothes that I wear when I fly back home. After I get to my room I change into my clothes for the rest of the day, hang my travel clothes on hangers an hit them with Febreeze.

The point of all this is to remind you to put some thought into your packing and try to avoid having your (lack of) proper packing limit what you can do on your entertainment vacation once you arrive. Flexibility and planning are the key.

Also, comfortable shoes. That cannot be stressed enough.

Preparations for a Casino Trip Step Two: Determine your Bank-roll and Try to make a daily budget.

If, like me, you are a casino (and gambling) veteran there is probably not gong to be much in this post for you. As a matter of fact, there might not be much in this entire series for you. But, my hope is that through this entire series every reader at least finds something they find interesting and useful.

If not?  Well, you get what you pay for.

Budgets. No gambler thinks that they are going to need a budget. They believe that this trip will be the one where they win early and often, where they hit so big on the first day that they'll pocket a fortune and be able to play off of a fraction of their winnings for the remainder of the trip.

That is the fantasy. That it's the one fantasy depicted on TV, movies and Vegas commercials goes without saying.  As an aside, you'll rarely see people in a casino as happy, joyful and (to be frank) as young and pretty as you see on casino adverts, especially sitting at slots on what is an obvious losing pull.

Reality is somewhat different. The hard reality is that every game in a casino is a negative expectation game. What that means is that, when you sit down, the odds on the game favor (sometimes overwhelming and sometimes slightly) the casino taking more of your money than you take from them. This is not done by cheating (casinos don't need to cheat) in regulated jurisdictions it's done by maths.

One of my favorite sayings in all of gambling is from the book:  1000 Best Casino Tips and Tricks by Bill Burton.

"Casinos believe in math, gambler's believe in luck. Guess which ones are most successful?"

Because all gambling is an exercise in Math you really need to plan ahead to determine the following prior to any casino trip:

1. "How much can I afford to lose?" When you make your casino budget you should really understand this concept. When you go to a theater to watch a movie, it's pretty easy to determine the amount of money you're going to spend. The prices are on the menu, and once you pay that money is gone in exchange for whatever you purchased. In gambling, it's different. Yes, you know the price per spin but you don't know HOW MANY spins (or hands, or rolls etc.) that you're going to be making. At a movie, the price of one ticket is a known factor, and you're going to get to watch one movie and then that's it. (excepting double headers obviously, but the logic still stands) In gambling, you know the amount of the wager (ticket) but you do not know before hand what the result of that wager will be. You might win, lose it all, lose some of it, push etc. You might get a bonus and "free" spins. The fact is you don't know. The only way to know how much you're going to lose is to set a budget up front, and then stick to it. The risk of not doing this is getting caught up in the heat of the game and spending money that you need for rent, food, mortgage, your kids schools. Believe me it happens. (Not to me personally, but I've seen it happen to some that I know)

2. "OK, I'll (most) probably lose, but how to I make my money LAST?" This is where creating a daily budget comes in, and it's the gambling concept that takes the most discipline among all of the one's I'm discussing today. There are many ways to do this, bring cash and leave your ATM card behind, use the envelope method, If you have a bank nearby you can go by the ATM at the branch each morning etc. There's also casino credit and taking out a marker. The point is that all of these take discipline. Especially if you have a terrible day and the bankroll is gone by 6PM it could be hard to not hit up the ATM, go to your room and open up the next day's envelope, get an additional marker, take a cash advance etc. Of all these methods taking a cash advance is by far the worst. Your credit card company will charge you very high interest rates on this which you will have to overcome in addition to the house edge. 2nd is the ATM in the casino option, where fees can run as high as $9.99 on withdrawals (that I've heard about, I've personally seen them as high as $7.99). Getting an additional marker off of your line of credit is OK but, remember this: All markers are considered a legal debt and must be paid back (settled) either upon check out (especially if you've had a winning trip) or within a specified amount of time following your trip. Failure to repay these can result in serious consequences. Grabbing more money out of the room is your least-worst option but it still reduces your gambling budget for the following days which makes the worse options even more likely if you find yourself chasing losses.

3. "But the odds are I have to get it back some time right?" Wrong. Again, the odds are ALWAYS with the house. Always*. Chasing losses is one of the worst things you can do in a casino, and one of the hardest things to avoid doing. The reason for this is simple: Gambling is fun. The thrill of a win activates Dopamine in the body which gives you a rush. If you become addicted to this rush you can develop problem gambling and that, without question, is a bad thing. While many blame the casinos and put the onus on them for stopping problem gambling the fact of the matter is the only one who truly understands your current life situation and what you can really afford to lose is you, your loved ones and your friends. Certainly the casinos share some onus to keep more problem gamblers from playing, but saying that a casino is liable because you messed up and lost your mortgage for the month and are getting evicted (while saying nothing about this in the casino and generally having a grand time [until the point you lose that is]) is not going to help you get your money back. Shortened: If you lose your daily bankroll, stop.  Better yet put a stop-loss on yourself so that you have some money left at the end of the day.

4. "Why can't I just gamble my winnings? After all it's the casino's money!" This is one of the biggest fallacies that problem gamblers tell themselves after a win. Right along with "I'm going to turn this big win into a bigger one!" Once you hit a winning pull, hand, deal, etc. and get paid out your winnings that money no longer belongs to the casino, it belongs solely to you. The casino has no claim on it to the extent that you refuse to give it back to them. Again, there are many ways to ensure you keep your winnings. I use the envelope method and split my budget into daily "allowances". If I hit a jackpot it goes into the 'take home' envelope never to be played this trip again. If I hit a big slot or VP win it's separated from my daily gambling budget and does not get churned (replayed). By doing this it's a very rare day that I end up with absolutely nothing at the end of the day.

Bonus tip: Budget a little bit more than you otherwise would for your "fist day/night". This is especially true if you really enjoy gambling but haven't been in a casino for a while. Your adrenaline is going to be pumping full chat and you are going to play more than you intended.  Mrs. TPM and I call this "CASINO!!!!!!!!!" and it gets us every time. After that first night however the thrill is less and we settle firmly into our budgeted ways.

Remember: Just like food, drinks, shows, pools, spas and souvenirs, gambling is a part of your entertainment budget. You would not eat at a restaurant, buy several rounds of drinks, go to a show, rent a cabana or get a massage without knowing the price, why should your gambling be any different?

Or why, is it any less important? 

*The obvious exceptions to this are card counting in blackjack (likely to get you backed off of the game and eighty-sixed from the casino), some full-pay pay tables in Video Poker or a VP progressive that swings the expected return to over 100% (almost impossible to find in the wild) or, to be blunt, cheating (illegal and will most likely get you arrested, banned for life from gambling and placed in prison)

Preparations for a Casino Trip Step One: Create your Rough-Draft Plan

If you enjoy such things, heading to a casino for your first time, or after some time away, can be an exciting thing. And, believe it or not, planning said trip doesn't mean micro-managing every single thing you're going to do every single second of the day.

For one, time in casinos moves at a weird pace. What seems like an hour can only be 15 minutes if you're getting your running cold on the gamble, or 3 hours if you're on a winning streak. Because of this my plans are more guidelines than actual rules. Kind of like the Pirate's Code if you will.

But, when planning, I do want to have a basic idea of where I want to go and what I want to see. Importantly, I want to have a fairly firm idea of where I want to eat. Current COVID era this is primarily important because many restaurants (especially in Las Vegas) are very difficult to get into even WITH reservations.  So plan early, reserve early, and remember that, should your plans change, you can always cancel or re-schedule if needed. Don't get caught out having to stop by the casino gift-shop for a bag of chips and a bottle of soda for dinner when there are usually several options available to you.

Aside from dining, activities, shows, it's a good idea to plan out any additional things you want to get accomplished on your trip. A pool day, for example, during peak times, usually requires reservations of one sort or the other. Even if you don't require a reservation it's probably a good idea to plan your pool day any way because it's going to have an effect on your dinner plans, gaming plans, etc.

This concept might seem a little odd, but I also sketch out on my trips roughly when, where, and how long, my gambling sessions are going to be. This is, as you might imagine, an inexact science because they will fluctuate greatly in duration based on the status of my bank roll.  But, since a not-insignificant part of playing is the generation of comps, I always want to ensure that I have budgeted enough soak-time on the video poker machines to drive my theoretical to a level that will keep the casino and (where applicable) my host happy.

Some tips for scheduling.

1. Always assume that things will take a little longer than you think they will. Especially in Vegas this is going to happen. Partially due to long wait times but also, hey, you're on vacation. If you're eating in a nice restaurant don't rush that meal. We always plan to have pre-dinner cocktails, appetizers, a salad course, the mains, and then possibly and espresso and Limoncello at nice dinners. This process can take two hours (longer if we get a bottle of wine) and that's OK. The good news is that almost all casino floors are open 24 hours.

2. Don't overschedule, keep some flexibility. You never know what is going to happen on a casino trip so don't tie yourself down. If you have planned to gamble in the morning and then go to the pool, don't be afraid to hit the pool early (if it's open) if the gambling session is bad. Don't plan dinner at 7:00 and a show at 8:00. Give yourself time.

3. Don't beat yourself up if you don't do everything you had planned to do. Maybe you find something different that you did not know about? Possibly the gambling went well and took longer than you wanted.  I cannot tell you how many times we have had the High Roller on our list and just did not make it because of one thing or another. That's OK, one time we'll get there.  And if we don't?  The world will not end.

Trust me when I tell you that it's in your best interest to have a rough idea of what you're going to do in a casino.  The ONE exception to this is if you're a degenerate gambler who knows that they're going to be spending the bulk of their time playing the game of their choice and grabbing food on the fly.

If you're that person?  You do you.  And good luck.

Preparations for a Casino Trip: Do's, Don'ts and things to possibly consider.

 As I type this, I'm just about one week from hopping onto a plane and flying to a city in State that allows resort casinos.  Whether I'm going to Las Vegas, Lake Charles Louisiana (which would be a drive, not a flight), Bossier City Louisiana, Southern Oklahoma, Mississippi or Tulsa Oklahoma my pre-trip preparations are the same. I'm going to attempt a series of posts here going over what I do to get ready in the hope that, within all of this, you'll find some things you might not have thought of that will help you in your future trips.

Let's get straight to the list shall we?

1. Create a rough-draft plan of what you expect to do and see while there.

2. Determine your bank-roll and try to make a daily gaming budget.

3. Check the weather and pack accordingly.

4. Make sure your transportation is covered/planned to all destinations.

5. Re-confirm all reservations.

While all of this seems fairly straight-forward on the surface I'm going to focus on each over the next few days in further detail, so you can see where the pratfalls lie.

I'll start publishing these tomorrow, and will try and provide links to each of the posts at the bottom of the latest post for easy reference.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go create my rough-draft plan.

On Video Poker: "Full Pay" Tables and why you're probably wasting your time looking for them.

"Full Pay"

For a professional, or serious even, video poker player this is the Holy Grail of machines. One with a pay table that signifies you're somewhere in the range of a 99% to even over 100% payback. Here's what they look like for certain games....

9/6 Jacks or Better

8/5 Bonus Poker

9/6 Bonus Deluxe

10/7 Double Bonus Poker

10/6 Double Double Bonus Poker

9/7 Triple Double Bonus Poker

There are other games out there for sure, even some games, such as Deuces Wild, that offer full pay variants, but the one's above are what I would consider to be the most "popular" games that you can typically find across a broad spectrum of casinos/machines, including both bar top (my favorite) and floor machines.

Before we go any further here I want to get one thing clear (a thing that's going to be missed by almost everyone reading this blog. But, here we go.....

I LOVE FULL PAY MACHINES. I do, and I search them out wherever I can find them.  As someone who spends 95% of time in a casino sitting in front of a video poker machine pay-tables are very, very, extremely important to me.

But they might not be to you, and let me explain why.

1. "Full Pay" means over the life of the machine. It does not mean that you're going to lose less money in any one given session. Because of this, if you're playing many long sessions over the course of a casino trip (i.e. like me) then the more you play the more the pay table will come into effect. Because the more hands you see etc.  But let's say you only go to a casino once or twice per year, usually play Black Jack and only play VP (Video Poker) for an hour or so when you're sitting at the bar having drinks. In all honesty your wins and losses are not going to come from the pay table, but from whether or not you hit any "premium hands" (i.e. 4 of a kind or better) during the limited time that you are playing.

2. "Full Pay" comes with the caveat that perfect strategy must be employed. I'm not sure about others, but I will freely admit that I DO NOT, EVER play with absolutely perfect strategy. I believe that I play with ADVANCED strategy, but either due to fatigue, a vodka soda (with lime) or two or the simple fact that I am a human being and therefore make mistakes, I will never attain perfection. IMO anyone who claims this is a liar. But there's also basic and advanced strategy as well. To gain a benefit out of any pay table my feeling is that you AT LEAT have to have a pretty solid mastery of the intermediate strategy of the game. I'm not suggesting that you play intermediate perfect and never make a mistake, but an overwhelming majority of the time (say around 95%) you are making the correct play as the strategy allows.  Even this type of play on basic strategy will help some, but I believe that intermediate strategy is the cut-off for a perceptible difference in results.

3. Even WITH perfect strategy, you're playing a negative expectation game. Yes, there are a few caveats to this: Full Pay Double Bonus Poker and Double Double Bonus Poker actually have theoretical returns above 100%, and you could even find some of the other games bumped up above that for a promotion, and there are times when a progressive gets high enough that the TR (Theoretical Return) is drug over 100% but these are the exception not the rule, and you're unlikely to find them many places in the wild. The further you deviate from perfect strategy however the higher the house edge is getting. My point is that without strategy VP can be one of the worst games in the casino.

4. You're likely spending most of your bankroll elsewhere. From that perspective video poker is not your game. You might like to play it and you might hit big from time to time, but overall you'd be better served mastering the strategies of the games you like to play (IF, that is, they have a strategy that is complex enough to be mastered). That said, it doesn't take too long to gain a working understanding of basic strategy, and even knowing that will help you to play better (and get better hands) in the long-term. So even if you only play a little don't discount learning some strategy. But save your real work for learning Black Jack strategy, or card counting if that's your thing.

Listen, I'm not suggesting that you run out and go find the worst pay tables that you can and sit down on those machines because well, who cares?  Not at all. What I am saying is that, if you're a casual VP players, don't let the quest for finding the "best" pay table ruin your day. Yes, if you find two games of DDB (Double Double Bonus) and one is 9/5* and one is 8/5, and they're both open and right next to each other then, certainly, you're not real smart if you pick the 8/5 game all other things being equal. Be aware, but don't obsess over it.

On the Las Vegas Strip the harsh reality is that there are very few "good" VP pay tables and you're probably going to be relegated to playing something foul such as 6/5 BP (Bonus Poker) or 7/5 DDB at the quarter level. For me, these games are why I very, very rarely play VP on the Strip but, for you? If you're sitting with friends and having a good time? You should probably not feel too bad about just lining them up and banging away.

After all, the BEST pay table is a winning pay table, and that's the machine on which you actually get premium quads**, straight flushes or the Royal Flush.

Final reminder: Gambling is a cost of entertainment. Even if you learn advanced strategy and play as near perfect as you can on the best pay tables every time, you're still going to have more losing sessions than winning ones.

This is doubly true for a recreational player. Have fun, try and hit some premium hands and just generally consider VP to be an entertainment option for you.  Don't waste your time running around a casino looking for "the best pay table" because 1. This could take some time and you don't want to spend your time working on vacation, and 2. It's probably not going to do you much good even if you do find it.  At the most, check all of the games on one machine and find the best one and play it. But the "best" machine is the winning machine, and don't forget that the winning machine is the one on which you hit premium hands.

Unfortunately they've yet to develop a (legal) system for finding those.

*A pay table is rated by the value placed on a single unit bet on the full house and the flush.  So, if the Full house pay tables shows a 9 and the Flush a 5 then the game is 9/5. This is true for all "non-wild" games. Once you learn this it's pretty easy to determine the pay table and then, you can go to many sites and see just how much of the house edge the variant you are playing is adding to the house edge. 

**Premium Quads are defined here as being quad combinations that pay higher than the "base" payout for 4OAK (4 of a kind).  Some examples of this would be 4-2s, 3s, 4s (200 credits) in Bonus Poker where 4 5-Ks only pays 150 or 4 Aces w/any Ace,2,3,4 (2000 credits) in DDB where 4 5s-Ks pays out 250 credits.  There are many more examples of this in many games, just look at the pay table and look for any 4 of a kind combo that pays higher than the base (usually 5s-Ks but not always)