College Football: A Proposed Ban on all Hand Signs

With the news coming out that the Big XII has decided to ban "Horns Down" I think it might be necessary to take this a few steps further....

The NCAA should ban "ALL" student body hand signs forever.

This includes "Gig 'em" and all of the various aTm class hand signs, and Guns Up, and the ASU Pitchfork, and the UH Shasta Paw (Shocker!) and, most especially, the horrendously awful TCU two-knuckle thing that really just feels like they ran out of ideas.

Baylor's bear paw?  Nope.

Hook 'em?  Book 'em.

It should also be a law that any team not named "Alabama" be forever and forthwith prohibited from flashing the "We're number 1" hand-sign, and this includes the student body.  If a player or student from Rutgers, Vanderbilt, Wake Forest or any Group of 5 school ever flashes the "#1"sign they should be immediately kicked out of school and barred from Intercollegiate competition forever.

While we're at it, let's ban those awful gray alternate uniforms as well, or black ones. In fact, let's make a law that the only colors you can have in your uniform are the official colors as listed by the university.  I am open to discussing the Oregon amendment on this one because their 2,792 combinations remain fun.  Everyone else?  Home: Primary color, Away: White, Alternate: Accent color. And that's it.

Students or alumni in the stands who continue to sport these awful alternate uniforms, or who persist on flashing hand signs will be taken out of the stadium by security and be forced to listen to Stephen A. Smith and Paul Finebaum argue at-length over the superiority of the SEC. After all, there's only so-much "they beat up on 4 cupcakes per year" screaming you can take.

While we're at it, let's agree by legislative fiat that the only legal use of Smith and Finebaum going forward is for said punishment. I'm open to an outright ban on Cowherd, Bayless and other talk radio/TV personalities.

In further efforts to clean up college football the Oklahoma marching band should be Constitutionally required to learn and play 10 songs other than "Boomer Sooner" on a constant loop. The USC band is exempt from this because their fight song and corresponding defensive anthem is much less annoying.

I also propose a ban on sympathy, or overly-sympathetic broadcasts toward Urban Meyer, the used of the word "adversity" when talking about teams or further explaining that "RPO" means "Run/Pass Option"  This should also be applied to NFL announcers/studio shows.

IF we allow NFL studio shows to survive that is. Unlike College Game Day, which should be declared a US treasure and protected as such, NFL studio shows are awful and their elimination would go a long way toward the promotion of the country's mental well-being.

Finally, in a bid toward returning college football to greatness: The CFP should be abolished, the ground on which it stood salted to never return.  The NCAA should decree that the old Bowl system be the law of the land and let's go back to the days where winning the conference was key, where New Year's Day mattered, and where the entire off-season was spent arguing about whether the AP or UPI poll got it right with their National Champion.

I'm sorry folks, it really is the only way.