Video Poker is the worst game in the world, and I love it so.
About six years back I made the transition from playing primarily live poker to the video version. I'm not sure when I made the decision to do so but there was a point where I got tired of sitting at a 4-8 limit game, trying to snag the bad beat jackpot to be perfectly honest, and having some knob sit down at the table wearing a hoodie and shades saying "I'm getting prepped for the WSOP."
Uh huh.
There was one game, at a casino that shall remain nameless, where I was playing against a local at dark-thirty in the morning and he caught a 3-outer on the river to win a modest pot. He then started to curse me, calling me a "f-ing donkey" and other things that bad poker players like to say when they get lucky (to try and put the other person on tilt) and I just replied "You're a G-damn poker god sir".
Which earned me a profanity warning from the chair.
Gobsmacked by this I disputed it, which got the floor manager called over. I stated my case and he then told me I could either behave or take my business elsewhere. I took my business elsewhere and never darkened the door of that particular poker room again.
But I kept playing. For one, that was the game that I knew best and two, I really wasn't in the mood to go back to the cat and mouse game that is advantage blackjack.
Then I found video poker.
At first, it was the most frustrating thing in the world. I knew that strategy existed, and I was in the process of learning it, but I was still making a TON of mistakes and premium hands were few and far between. I had seen people who never played video poker before sit down next to me and hit a Royal Flush not even knowing what they were doing. As for me? I thought I was never going to hit one. After playing live poker since I was 16 (at home games at first, then at casinos when I turned 21) and through all of the years, and five years of pretty much being a video poker junkie, I finally got my first.one. It happened on June 10, 2017. I held KQJ of hearts and drew the A-10. It was a progressive Royal to boot. Which was fairly high ($1638.92) and was one heck of a way to finish off the last night of a trip.
Since that date I've had 19 more. My lifetime count is 20.
Why the increase?
Of course, luck is one big reason but improved strategy helped a LOT as well. The fact is I more consistently put myself in a better position to draw a royal now than I did for the first few years playing. In fact, since 2017 I've only gone one year without hitting a royal, the COVID impacted trash-fire that was 2020. In 2021 (over four gambling trips) I've had 7 royals, five alone in March and April at Green Valley Ranch in Las Vegas.
Here's the thing, and (belatedly) the point of this blog: Despite the above the reality of playing video poker is much the same as it was in the early days. Yes, I'm better at the game now and have a better understanding of it. I can adjust strategy depending on the pay-table and I understand the concept and impact of penalty cards. (although, to be honest, those are still where the majority of my strategy mistakes lie)
When you sit down to a video poker machine the reality is that you are most likely in for a session of woe and heartbreak. That dealt 4-to-a-royal will not convert, you're going to miss on many dealt trips. I once missed on 78 dealt trips in a row.
The point is, things happen, bad runs happen and you're going to have losing sessions far more often then you have winning ones. The game will make you shake your head when walking away thinking "what just happened there?"
One additional lesson that I've learned over the years is to have fun. Video Poker is entertainment, it's not a grind. Yes, you can settle in and grind for points from time to time (especially if you're close to moving to the next tier on the loyalty card) but that doesn't mean that you've got to let it ruin your mood.
If you're on a machine where every hand is a miss and the money is falling away faster than Conor McGregor's career and reputation, take yourself a little break and go for a walk. Don't sit there and stew over it.
Unlike BlackJack (Lose 4 and hit the door) there's no real hard and fast rule for when to get up from a VP machine. But I have found this: If I sit down and fire two "bullets" ($100 on either a $1 single line or $0.25 multi-play currently, a while back it was $40 for $0.25 single-line) and hit nothing of note it's time to take a break. Stand up, walk around and regroup before firing again. Don't empty your clip all at once. The more you go Deal, Hold, Draw, Miss, the more frustrated you're going to get and the more strategy errors you'll find yourself making.
Clear head, clear heart, clear mind.
Have fun, hit Royals, smile more.
Good luck.
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