Conservative Group fires first shot in the Great 2009 Houston War O' Gay...

Led by Dr. Stephen Hotze, State Sen. Dan Patrick and the other usual gaggle (pack?) of conservative noise-makers from the "agin' it" arm of the ever-shrinking local Republican Party has decided to throw their weight against the rising tide of rampant gayness that's threatening to wash over Houston Municipal Governance.

The leading lesbian in this charge on the gates of the straight monopoly on registering at Macy's, overpaying for outfits you'll wear once, bad dancing, cheap liquor, bad food and (50% of the time) extra-marital affairs is one Annise Parker who, to be fair, has been happily cohabiting with her partner (despite no official designation of "marriage") for longer than most local conservatives have been well....while not exactly 'conservative' something closer to society prudes who are very concerned about what lurks within the hearts and minds of men (and women) that's in anyway different than how they think and love and feel.

Presumably, if you believe the players in this drama, the real problem is not Parker by her lonesome. The problem is adding openly gay City Council candidates (and probable winners) Lane Lewis and Sue Lovell to a mix that somehow equates (in the minds of the anti-gay group) to some vast and grand conspiracy of gays to take over and dominate Houston city government.

Aside from better interior design at City Hall, the scourge that our city's social guardians are hell-bent on protecting us from is the extension of benefits to same-sex partners. After all, we can't have the government providing health-care to the partners of gay office-holders...obviously this is one of those federal jobs...oh no wait....they're opposed to federal health-care as well.

By way of a public service, and as a means to try an inject some life into this heretofore boring-assed campaign, might I humbly suggest that the three GLBT candidates pool their resources and release a joint campaign commercial utilizing this song: Broadway and frothing Republicans....it's a win/win for all of us.