Metro's Magnificent Maceration

By now I'm sure you've read about Metro's "oops" moment from a variety of other sources (and here and here as well) Of course there's going to be much more to come of this, a scandal with all of the earmarks of a multiple news cycle news event: Intrigue, stealth shredding, shadowy characters plying away in the middle of the night, potential insider deals with contractors by department heads and a crusty DA looking for a freshly minted scalp to hang over her desk.

It wasn't supposed to be this way for Houston's transit agency of course. By this time they were supposed to be popping the corks off of bottles of Champagne as their developer buddies drew up grand, multi-use plans for land that had been purchased on the cheap from small businesses forced to shut down and sell out due to poor access during construction. Shortly after that they would quaff more Champagne as tax subsidies kept pouring in, ridership numbers were inflated, and all of this was positively reported by Houston's notoriously non-inquisitive former newspaper of record. The final leg to the plan would be the election of former Hizzoner Bill White to the Governorship of Texas, where his penchant for over-paying for cutesy green modes of transportation would lead to the salad days for Houston's transportation cabal.

Sadly, all of this is not to be, as Metro head honchos Frank "procurement disaster" Wilson and David road to catastrophe" Wolff are surely to be shown the door once (now sort-of) newly minted Mayor Annise Parker finds suitable replacements for them, hopefully replacements with some fresh ideas on how to move Houstonians from point A to point B (and A to C, and D to E, and L to X, etc. Houston being notoriously decentralized) efficiently and safely, without designing a system that's punitive to Houston's dominant mode of transportation.

Until this unfolds we can only wait for Slampo to weigh in on this mess and for the punishment phase should wrong-doing be uncovered.

My humble suggestion for an ample punishment would be to tie the guilty spread-eagled to the front of the Danger Train wearing a sign reading "Shredder" with an iPod in their ears playing Bill White "State of the City" speeches on a loop until the train reaches full capacity.

That's enough to reform anyone.