Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The New (Revised) Houston Political Dictionary (v 2.4.4)


EaDo - Proof of case that Houston's hipsters carry around shoulder chips so deep you could solve the city's water woes by filling them.

East End - A much more sensible name for another place in Houston referred to by people when they talk about "where those people" live.

Education - Flimsy excuse, used by many, to justify pumping huge dollars to the teacher's union under the guise of "for the children".

Education Funding - For Texas' Lock Step Political Media: Did not exist prior to the 2009 Legislature.

Education System - The last refuge of the scoundrel.

It's not that educating children shouldn't be a priority, it's that educating children has become and excuse for asking that increasingly large sums of money be sent to a system that, by all accounts, is failing at it's number one job. For Texas Lock Step Political Media education funding didn't occur until the 2009 legislative session, and it wasn't brought into focus until a relatively weak economy forced the Texas Legislature to adjust the funding formula and decrease the amount of increase that school districts received.  What has resulted from this change is one of the biggest tragi-comedies in recent Texas political history.  The "cuts" as they've been classified, first started out at $4 Billion and have risen incrementally to either $5.4 or $5.3 Billion depending on the news source.  It is now obvious that, for some reason, the 2009 funding levels have been arbitrarily established as a base-line among the TLSPM and progressive politicians with no explanation as to why.

Effort - The worst example of the "noun as a verb" phenomenon.

"Efforting" is something that bad politicians want you to know they're doing, when they're not "fighting for you" of course.  In the Texas Legislature there are always a gaggle of politicians and staffers efforting to get something, anything, done so they can take it back to their constituents and parade around like peacocks during mating season. What's been lost in all of this is the fact that real, honest, effort is something you don't find any longer in either politics or political punditry.

Elections - Snapshots in time frequently mistaken as proof of case by those with political agendas.

Elephant - Something in a room that people refer to when they have little idea of the true minutia of any issue.

There's always going to be "an elephant in the room" for bloggers and reporters who want to pretend that they're smarter than the people who are discussing an issue but really aren't.  In fact, most times, the elephant in the room isn't an elephant at all, but is something every one knows about and has been discussed, at length, long ago.

Ellington Field - Site of the Houston AirShow once per year and..........?

Emmitt, Ed - The Harris County Judge and a Republican that even Democrats can like, at times, when they're not trying to run a campaign against him. Also: Perennial easy out for the Houston Press as their "Best Republican".

Energy - That which makes a city move.  Chronically lacking in Houston at every level.

There are a lot of things that make up a city's energy, from actual energy (of which Houston is a leader) which runs the lights and keeps cities in the South livable in the Summer, to creative energy which drives projects, to a baseline level of popular energy which gives a city it's vibe.  Houston is a city with an energy industry and nothing else.  Creative energy is wasted on silly inner-loop projects while a majority of people move outside the Loop taking their energy to the suburbs.  It could be argued that Houston's energy surplus lies in the anger Inner Loopers feel toward everyone else.  If they could somehow channel that energy into something productive instead of false-gotcha snarkiness in web comments Houston might not be still trying to figure out what to do with the Astrodome.

Energy Reporting - In Houston, an endangered species.

Enron - The cudgel used by Houston's lack-luster energy reporters to beat current companies over the head for things they're probably not even doing.

Equality - Loved by all in abstract. Hated when it's realized what it entails.

Equal Pay - Misunderstood concept that is meaningless in serious debate.

Equal Rights - Often mistaken to mean equality of outcome.

The modern concept of "equal" (and all of its offshoots) is really more of a political campaign tool than an actual search for equality in and of itself.  Today's equality mongers are really looking for similar outcomes instead of similar opportunity.  They ignore that two people given truly equal opportunities to succeed are going to produce totally disparate results. If you're lazy and have all of the chances in the world you're still going to end up lazy and lagging behind those who are willing to put their nose down and get the work done.  Therefore equality is nothing more than a campaign tool for stupid people who bring nothing of substance to the table.  You can tell how much trouble a State is truly in by counting how many of these equality-mongers actually get elected to office.

Eversole, Jerry - The goodest of gold ol' boys in the Harris County good ol' boy network.

EZ Tag - What your car might consider to be the number of the beast.

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