Happy New Year's Houston: No Reason to pay any attention to the news, here's ALL you need to know in 2021

 As you wake up this morning, either hungover or no, and celebrate the death of 2020 and new life in 2021. Here's everything that is going to happen to your fair city (and region) in 2021.  The below are absolutely guaranteed to happen with a margin of error of 100%.

January: Disgusted with the CDC guidance for the COVID-19 vaccine, Harris County Judge Lina Hidalgo discards it in the name of 'economic justice' and declares that anyone within the county making more than $60,000 per year immediately will be placed in distribution group 1000Z which means that you will receive your vaccination just after the animals in the Houston Zoo.

February: Sylvester Turner, not willing to give up the position of Mayor that he has dreamed about since he was a child in Acres Homes, ram-rods through a City Ordinance allowing him to bypass term limits and remain Mayor for Life, or until he finally satisfies all of his political patrons financially.

March: Houston firefighters are told that they will get the vaccine eventually or, once they come back to the bargaining table and accept Turner's changes to their pensions allowing the HPD to continue to have Most Favored Department status forever.

April: HPD Commissioner Art Acevedo remains coy regarding his political future still suggesting that he's "looking for the right opportunity" to run for higher office. In reality he's hoping to let memories of his HPD mismanagement fade.

May: The Houston Chronicle Editorial Board writes a positive editorial on Biden's first 100 days in Office, continues to run it every week until Biden is eventually removed from office, in which case they just change all instances of "Biden" to "Harris" in the copy.  No one notices this because no one pays attention to them any longer.

June: Houston firefighters and zoo animals finally begin receiving vaccines for COVID-19. The County give Judge Lina Hildago an "Excellence in Leadership" award that's really a recycled participation trophy from a youth soccer league with tape over the face plate and the new information written in permanent marker.

July: Erica Greider hears about Lina's award from Miya Shay at a dinner party in Asia Town and pens a column terming Lina's Excellence in Leadership a "Major Award". No one notices because no one pays any serious attention to her any longer, except for waiting for her next Twitter meltdown.

August: The Federal Government finally releases vaccine to private healthcare entities thus thwarting Judge Lina Hidalgo's attempt to keep it from certain groups indefinitely. In a hastily called press conference she bemoans her "lack of authority" to prevent anything she does not like from happening.

September: A major milestone is hit as most Houstonians have now received the COVID-19 vaccine and new cases are as close to zero as makes no difference. Governor Abbott removes all restrictions, Turner and Judge Lina Hidalgo hold a hastily called press conference calling this decision irresponsible.

October:  Trick or Treating, and anything fun, are banned in Harris County on penalty of permanent imprisonment. Due to bail reform the prison guards are getting bored.

November: Eating Turkey for Thanksgiving is also now punishable by a criminal offense, as is gathering with anyone outside of your immediate household for any reason. The reason for this is because private jail firms have threatened to sue the City and County for default on their contracts. COVID-19 cases in Harris County are still zero.

December: Santa Clause is named an "enemy of the County" due to his failure to pay property or sales taxes on all of those gifts he carries. The City of Houston wants to fine him "exactly the amount of the budget short fall for the next fiscal year.

January 2022: Under intense pressure from unions and other groups who have been out of a job all year Judge Lina Hidalgo FINALLY relents and lowers her COVID alert-level thingy to Orange.

Happy New Year everyone.

The New (Revised) Houston Political Dictionary (v 2.4.4)

E

EaDo - Proof of case that Houston's hipsters carry around shoulder chips so deep you could solve the city's water woes by filling them.

East End - A much more sensible name for another place in Houston referred to by people when they talk about "where those people" live.

Education - Flimsy excuse, used by many, to justify pumping huge dollars to the teacher's union under the guise of "for the children".

Education Funding - For Texas' Lock Step Political Media: Did not exist prior to the 2009 Legislature.

Education System - The last refuge of the scoundrel.

It's not that educating children shouldn't be a priority, it's that educating children has become and excuse for asking that increasingly large sums of money be sent to a system that, by all accounts, is failing at it's number one job. For Texas Lock Step Political Media education funding didn't occur until the 2009 legislative session, and it wasn't brought into focus until a relatively weak economy forced the Texas Legislature to adjust the funding formula and decrease the amount of increase that school districts received.  What has resulted from this change is one of the biggest tragi-comedies in recent Texas political history.  The "cuts" as they've been classified, first started out at $4 Billion and have risen incrementally to either $5.4 or $5.3 Billion depending on the news source.  It is now obvious that, for some reason, the 2009 funding levels have been arbitrarily established as a base-line among the TLSPM and progressive politicians with no explanation as to why.

Effort - The worst example of the "noun as a verb" phenomenon.

"Efforting" is something that bad politicians want you to know they're doing, when they're not "fighting for you" of course.  In the Texas Legislature there are always a gaggle of politicians and staffers efforting to get something, anything, done so they can take it back to their constituents and parade around like peacocks during mating season. What's been lost in all of this is the fact that real, honest, effort is something you don't find any longer in either politics or political punditry.

Elections - Snapshots in time frequently mistaken as proof of case by those with political agendas.

Elephant - Something in a room that people refer to when they have little idea of the true minutia of any issue.

There's always going to be "an elephant in the room" for bloggers and reporters who want to pretend that they're smarter than the people who are discussing an issue but really aren't.  In fact, most times, the elephant in the room isn't an elephant at all, but is something every one knows about and has been discussed, at length, long ago.

Ellington Field - Site of the Houston AirShow once per year and..........?

Emmitt, Ed - The Harris County Judge and a Republican that even Democrats can like, at times, when they're not trying to run a campaign against him. Also: Perennial easy out for the Houston Press as their "Best Republican".

Energy - That which makes a city move.  Chronically lacking in Houston at every level.

There are a lot of things that make up a city's energy, from actual energy (of which Houston is a leader) which runs the lights and keeps cities in the South livable in the Summer, to creative energy which drives projects, to a baseline level of popular energy which gives a city it's vibe.  Houston is a city with an energy industry and nothing else.  Creative energy is wasted on silly inner-loop projects while a majority of people move outside the Loop taking their energy to the suburbs.  It could be argued that Houston's energy surplus lies in the anger Inner Loopers feel toward everyone else.  If they could somehow channel that energy into something productive instead of false-gotcha snarkiness in web comments Houston might not be still trying to figure out what to do with the Astrodome.

Energy Reporting - In Houston, an endangered species.

Enron - The cudgel used by Houston's lack-luster energy reporters to beat current companies over the head for things they're probably not even doing.

Equality - Loved by all in abstract. Hated when it's realized what it entails.

Equal Pay - Misunderstood concept that is meaningless in serious debate.

Equal Rights - Often mistaken to mean equality of outcome.

The modern concept of "equal" (and all of its offshoots) is really more of a political campaign tool than an actual search for equality in and of itself.  Today's equality mongers are really looking for similar outcomes instead of similar opportunity.  They ignore that two people given truly equal opportunities to succeed are going to produce totally disparate results. If you're lazy and have all of the chances in the world you're still going to end up lazy and lagging behind those who are willing to put their nose down and get the work done.  Therefore equality is nothing more than a campaign tool for stupid people who bring nothing of substance to the table.  You can tell how much trouble a State is truly in by counting how many of these equality-mongers actually get elected to office.

Eversole, Jerry - The goodest of gold ol' boys in the Harris County good ol' boy network.

EZ Tag - What your car might consider to be the number of the beast.

The New (Revised) Houston Political Dictionary (v 2.4.3)

D

Dallas - The main driver, according to ChronBlog, of Houston's inferiority complex.

Dan Patrick, State Senator - The triumph of style over substance.
It could be argued that the only reason Sen. Patrick is currently sitting in a dingy office in Austin currently is because, for years, he built a constituency through a talk show of marginal quality.  This gave him a built-in voter base who were willing to overlook the fact that he hasn't fulfilled any of his campaign promises since being in office.  Property tax hasn't been fixed, the margins tax is still out there, and the "people aren't being given a voice" as Patrick promised because he's fallen victim to the "good old boy" expert mentality that has been a part of Austin for years.

Deal-Breaker - A lie used to prevent anything of importance in politics from actually getting done. Can always be found in any issue.

Democrats, Houston - Unimportant entity that has ridden on the backs of the success of candidates and officeholders who understand how local politics work.

Democrats, Texas - Only mostly dead.

Demographics - Political astrology.

Destiny - A fiction in contemporary politics.

Long in the political wilderness in Texas, the State Democratic party has been looking toward the demographic watershed for years as their only hope of salvation.  The problem with this line of thinking is that, with a couple of notable exceptions, Demographic voting patterns can (and usually do) change over time.  Still the Democrats march on, choosing to rely on mildly homophobic vulgarities to describe their political opposites while ignoring the fact that these arguments are not resonating with the public.  Of course, Texas Republicans are fine with this because, when the minority party refuses to take policy seriously, they are allowed carte blanche to make whatever decisions they see fit.  The second problem the Democrats have is that no-one, of any political seriousness, views their current slate of state-wide candidates as anything other than a mildly amusing side-show.

Discovery Green - Central Houston's potty station for the dogs of the tragically hip and urban.

Divine Reserve - The triumph of marketing over quality.

D.N.A. (Cultural) - Irrefutable proof that Houston is a test-tube baby.

D.N.A. (Personal) - Irrefutable proof that you are (or are not) the baby daddy.

Dollar - Political construct designed to place a value on the designs of the bureaucracy.
The concept of a currency only makes sense if there is something of value backing it.  In America we've long sense gone past the point of a true valuation so that now, when speaking in political terms, the dollar can "be" whatever the hosts want it to be.  This has turned out to be especially beneficial to media who no longer have to spend time running down claims of damage estimate, claims of fiscal impact by a party regarding an opposing party's policies, economic impact claims and athlete contracts.

Donut - A sure sign, when it's served at political functions, your City/State/Political party is in a financial mess.

Downtown, Houston - A booming residential/retail/dining district free from all of the problems actual residents/shoppers/diners would provide.

Drainage - Usually a problem in a swamp.

Drought - Recently discovered natural phenomenon that has the ecomentalists in a tizzy.
Never mind that there have been droughts in Texas for tens of thousands of years, of that much of the vegetation on the Comancheria has evolved to thrive in low-precipitation environments, the recent discovery, by climate scientists and faith-based, climate-change friendly science writers, of the drought in Texas is proof positive that the Earth is rapidly heating up in Satan's EZ-Bake.

Dynamo - The European and Mexican soccer leagues' farm system in South East Texas.

The New (Revised) Houston Political Dictionary (v 2.4.2)

C

Can - Affirmative, hope-filled accomplishment based verb typically attached to your party of choice.

Can't - Or, can not. Negative, fear-filled, catastrophe based verb typically attached to the other side.

The minute Barack Obama's campaign team adopted "Yes we can!" (Si se Puede!) as a campaign slogan the politicization of these words were cast in stone.  Unfortunately, this also led to the creation of some pretty stupid alterations of party names by some of the lesser political minds in an attempt to be witty.  What it's really done, is end political satire and place us firmly in a world populated by Demoncrats and Republicants.  

Cannabis - The libertarian Holy Grail for a free society.

Car - For progressives: Beelzebub. For conservatives: 'merica

Celibate - A sex-free state of being that many conservatives incorrectly attribute to teenagers and clergy. For progressives: the worst possible thing in the world to teach in sex-ed.
To be celibate has, historically meant to be pure.  In today's sexually liberated culture someone who is celibate is viewed as either too ugly to mate or as being in possession of some mental illness. Given their hostility toward the idea of celibacy being taught in schools you wonder if some progressives are against it due to the painful childhood memories it dredges up?  Of course, for conservatives, sex is taboo and some still find it scandalous that a women exposes her ankles so their motivations are a little more clear.

Central Business District - An area where seemingly no-one wants to live but which Houston is subsidizing Millions of dollars of residential construction.

Central Heating & Air - The greatest invention in the history of Houston.

Chad Holley - Proof that Quannel X should never visit Sam Houston Race Park
Shortly after presenting Holley to Houston as St. Chaddeus the put-upon the youth was arrested for attempting to take something that wasn't his.  Then, upon his sentencing he was arrested again thus making him the test case for HPD's new continual arrest program.  Unfortunately, the fact that Holley is a punk has obscured the fact that HPD officers did something that needs a closer look and that simply because someone is a victim, doesn't mean they're good people. In short: It's OK to think the HPD officers who tried to use Holley to try out for the Texans place-kicker position need to be punished while believing, at the same time, that Mr. Holley should be a long time guest at the Gray Bar Hotel.

Charcuterie - Sausage in the language of the FoodBorg.

Children - The reason given by politicians of an authoritarian lean for every law proposed to take away the people's rights.

Chris Bell - Perennial candidate

Chris Bell - Perennial candidate

Chris Bell - Perennial candidate

ChronBlog - Houston's former newspaper of record.

Church - Tax exempt buildings where the faithful go to hear the Good News once per week in an attempt to assure themselves their actions for the week's other six days won't condemn them to Satan's EZ-Bake.

Ch$rch, Lakewood - Joel Osteen's personal ATM machine. Not to be confused with Church.

Citizens' Transportation Coalition - Christof Spieler's former one-man play.
To understand the impact that Spieler had on the CTC one only needs to look at the group's activity since it's intellectual soul has been carved out and placed on the Metro board. Once possessing the ability to create some pretty maps on iMacs the group is now relegated to offering up the occasional posting on Metro/City issues offering nothing of substance.

College - The triumph of theory over real-world experience.
Not only are many political leaders under the false impression that a college degree is a must for a healthy and successful life, but it's to the point that mortgaging one's future is now viewed as essential in order to achieve success as well.  The result of this is the collapse of vocational education thus placing several promising plumbers, electricians and other manual laborers in the unenviable position of having to listen to a lefty professor with no real-world experience explain to them the philosophical theory behind the widget.

Conservative - Republican hipsters minus the trendy eye wear.
Due to the crush of the mainstream media against Republicans the safe out for many of a small-government lean is to declare themselves "conservatives first".  This allows them to step aside when GOP bashing is going on because they can safely distance themselves from the party in their own minds.  The truth is that they almost never vote Democrat, unless it's a protest vote, and they don't have the political stones to go it alone and pull a third party lever, except when no Republican is present in the race.

Continental Airlines - Exhibit A in the "good ol' days" fallacy.

Co-Op - How business, living, breathing, eating and procreating should be done in the world of Houston's urban set.

Crane, Jim - Current owner of the Houston Astros. Unclear on the financial impact of a publicly funded stadium.

Crossley, David - One who feels he knows, better than you, what's good for you and your family and where, and how, you should be living.  In short: The man who would be King.

Crossley, Jay-Blazek - The son of Crossley, David. No other known distinguishing characteristics.

It's easy to look at New Urbanism in Houston and think that they're just a bunch of folks who want to better the city through the implementation of the movement's principles.  As a matter of fact, new-urbanism, in theory, isn't all that bad.  The idea of compact, walkable neighborhoods is something that a lot of people, many living in The Woodlands, Sugar Land, West Houston, etc., have decided is a preferred lifestyle.  The problem is that Houston's version of the theory involves moving everyone (except the poor and minority) within Houston's Metropolitan Region where they will be stacked high and forced to commute minus air-conditioning and flexibility.  When things don't go as the urbanists would like, they call the citizens stupid, when things they like fail, they call the citizens stupid for not adopting their principles.  When confronted with the fact that hard density and central planning tenets make things very difficult for the poor to cope, they shrug their shoulders and write another editorial in ChronBlog.

Crude Oil - Used to make gasoline and plastics (among other things) often confused by ChronBlog energy writers as "gas".

The New (Revised) Houston Political Dictionary (v 2.4.1)

B


#BadBlogging - Twitter hash-tag used to identify examples of sub-par blogging. Can also be applied liberally to everything on NoUp.

#BadMedia - Twitter hash-tag used to identify, and catalogue various media outlets who are just doing a rotten job.

Balance - Inaccurate descriptor which guarantees that what follows won't be in a state of.

Barack Obama - A name on a bumper sticker which Caucasian progressives use to imply a certain amount of street cred.  Also, the 44th President of the United States of America.

Bats - Every city needs some.
Bat colonies, ranking right behind some type of train and a restaurant carrying the name of a celebrity chef, are one of the more curious pre-requisites for a city's being classified as "world class". The media in every city loves the bat colony and implores its residents to come out and watch the bats take off.  What they fail to realize is that, for the most part, it's really a pretty boring activity.

Battleship Texas - A cudgel to be used, when convenient, by those who feel Texas' government is not spending enough money.

Bayou City - Houston nick-name used when city luminaries want to conjure up visions of New Orleans West.

B-Cycle - A transportation solution that only makes sense, on a limited scale, in Houston for 90 days out of the year.

Beautiful - A community aesthetic which those of a central planning ilk believe can only be achieved through increased central planning.

Begley, Dug - The next in a long-line of Houston Chronicle transportation writers trying to find the balance between PR scribe for Metro and actual news the community can use.
We've nothing against Mr. Begley, except that he's a grown man with a pony-tail, but his job is sure to be a thankless one.  We would imagine that covering the transportation beat for the Chron is akin to working for Best Buy, while HP tells you exactly what your point of view will be. So far he's not been bad per se, but he hasn't written anything critical on any topic outside of road building. In other words, more of the same.

Berry, Michael - Comedian.

Bicycle - The surest sign new-urbanists don't get it.
To truly believe the bicycle is a valid transportation option in a city with 100 degree days possible in six months out of the year you also have to believe that office co-workers aren't going to mind you smelling like a battlefield hospital, that a thing designed for recreation can be repurposed to meet a wide communities needs and that a wide swath of the population is willing to pedal through the rain to get to a job they don't like much anyway.

Big Jolly Politics - A leading political blog which works to provide gravity to Republican fringe candidates.

Bill White! - The triumph of partisanship over substance.
Not to be confused with Bill White, the former mayor of Houston, Bill White! is the go-to for progressives in Houston who feel that things aren't as they should be and that, were the great man in charge, things would be much better.  This ignores the fact that, while mayor, White accomplished little of actual substance and left a series of messes for his successors to deal with.

Bins - Trash cans in polispeak.
Politicians, especially at the local level, like to use vaguely technical sounding names for every-day items in order to make it appear that they have a superior grasp on the issue than your normal person.  In fact, this often proves quite the opposite in practice.  While a single-stream recycling "bin" might make it sound as if the politician in question is well-rounded and fully versed on the issue, the more likely scenario is that they're repeating something they heard someone say once before in mockingbird fashion.

Blog - An on-line ego trip.

Brand - Something great cities embrace and middling cities wish to change.

Bridges - Increasingly, a city's phallic symbol.
The game of "mine's bigger" has been played by cities since the tower of Babel.  What used to be measured in terms of building height is now measured in terms of span, or more-often, silliness.  Where San Francisco can point to the Golden Gate and New York can point to the Brooklyn cities like Houston have floated around god-awful ideas for art-like pedestrian bridges in hopes that no-one really notices how small they are in terms of vision and scale.

Brunch - Adds a bit of class to breakfast, allowing higher prices to be charged.

Buffalo Bayou - The Money Pit.

Bulls on Parade - A good PR slogan for a mediocre defense.

Bus - A workable transit solution for Houston that's soundly rejected because it's not cool.
The thing is, buses would be a great way to solve many of Houston's public transit needs, but buses are big and unwieldy and often involve sitting next to someone who's carrying on a private conversation with Utubuntu the God of trash bins while the kids sitting across from you rub snot on your trousers.  Excepting the fact that, in many cities, none of this is true, there's a predisposition within those of a progressive lean to gravitate toward trains and conservative types do not share space well with others in a motor vehicle.  Because of this the bus, despite its flexibility and practicality in a Houston-like environment, is given short-shrift and faces another round of service adjustments every time it's decided the train needs more money.

But - Political word signifying that everything which preceded it was pap.
As in: "We want to a solution that will work for all of Houston but......"

The New (Revised) Houston Political Dictionary (v2.4)

Prologue: The concept of the social dictionary has a long, and distinguished history.  From Voltaire to Samuel Johnson to modern-day thinkers such as John Ralston Saul (with whom I disagree politically, but really enjoy reading) the social dictionary has been used to place the modern, traditional dictionary in it's proper place.  It might have been Gustav Flaubert who first stated that the Dictionary is opinion, stated as fact, in alphabetical order.  Or it might have been Voltaire, the history of the quote (and idea) is muddled.

On the old blog, I attempted to take all things Houston and present them in the same manner, hopefully with some heart and humor thrown in for good measure. Since that time, however, things have changed.  Lose an Eye, it's a Sport has been long-shuttered and Houston's political landscape has changed.  It has also remained much the same.  While that might seem like an impossibility I believe that you'll see, in the entries (and explanations) to come that no matter how many things seem to have changed, history is, at heart, a cyclical thing.

One final note:  The title of this is the "Houston Political Dictionary" but, because Houston is a major regional city, I will frequently include items that are outside of the City.  Quite often actually.  I think you'll agree that pretty much everything I discuss however will have some impact on the place that is affectionately called H-Town by those of a nick-naming disposition.  For the rest of us, those who live here and actually really like it, I think Houston will do.  So, without further ado.......


A

Activist - One who can be fed anger from sources seeking political or financial gain and channel it with little or no pangs of conscience.
The concept of the political activist has been around for ages.  Back when farmer Joseph felt put upon by the King due to taxes there would be agrarian uprisings which were quickly put down by the power of the sword.  In rare cases (see: The French Revolution) the people were successful in overthrowing the rulers before realizing, hundreds of year later, that the inevitable result of that is Hollande. Today's political activist is nothing more than a mouthpiece for the political party of their choosing who happens to be willing to stand out in the rain holding a pre-printed sign lest the home-made ones contain misspellings of an embarrassing nature.

Aeros, Houston - Houston's explanation of the phrase "out of sight, out of mind".

Alamo - Historically, the mission in San Antonio where hundreds of Texians were slaughtered by General Santa Ana's superior force, thus sparking the battle cry for Texas' Independence.  In modern terms: The Alamo Draft House. A place where hipsters can watch art-house films while enjoying a can of Lone Star Beer

Alief - The part of Houston referred to when someone says "where those people" live.

A-List - A term for the big celebrities, of which Houston has none. 
Probably because they have no truly huge stars Houston's media is fascinated by them.  It's gotten so bad that Beyonce (a true A-list star) is still referred to as "Houston's own" despite her now living and having babies in New York city.

Allen's Landing - The romanticized origin of Houston which is really a dodgy spot on a polluted Bayou whose waters will cause a nasty rash in anyone who tries to swim in them.

Alvarado, Carol (D) - 1. An empty political suit with an odd predilection for "fighting" imaginary enemies. 2. Proof that being "the chosen one" in politics is not enough to succeed in the face of better funding.
Texas House Representative Carol Alvarado was the hand-picked successor of deceased Texas State Senator Mario Gallegos.  Unfortunately the voters didn't see it this way electing fellow empty-suit and fighter Sylvia Garcia to take over the chair vacated upon Gallegos passing.

Anadarko - Bad capitalism and one of the anti-capitalist, green-movement's strongest cases against a comfortable life.

Anvil Bar and Refuge - The central hive for the FoodBorg and leading light in the "no cars are good cars" parking movement. Also, a brilliant marketer.
Anvil co-owner Bobby Heugel's creation of "100 cocktails you must try" was a brilliant way to ensure that his stocks of obscure liqueurs maintains a profitable churn rate.

Apple - Good capitalism and the anti-capitalists' strongest argument for government sanctioned monopolies.


The problem with "capitalism" in Houston is that so much of it is responsible for the relatively good quality of life within the city but the political party of choice for the majority has decided that the oil and gas energy is slightly worse than Satan.  This causes a problem for those of a progressive mind-set due to the fact that they love the jobs, and the tax revenue, provided by the so-called "bad" companies but really want the economy to be entirely made up of the "good". This leads to rather awkward situations at fund-raisers where the progressive politician in question bashes an industry in their stump-speech and immediately follows that up by requesting the abused company write them a check.  Of course, Apple Inc. doesn't attend these parties because their too busy trying to figure out new ways to prevent their users from getting anything done.


Astros, Houston - Minor League baseball for Major League prices.

Astrodome - A metaphor for the City as a whole.
The "Dome" is frequently remembered by most Houstonians in a time capsule.  As a city we're more likely to remember the time when men in spacesuits vacuumed the carpet before games than we are to remember it in it's current state.  At the time of it's commission, the Astrodome was proof of Houston's big ideas and the force of personality of our leaders.  It's rapidly deteriorating condition and the dithering about it's eventual fate is often viewed as a measuring stick for how far local leadership has fallen.

Astronaut - The, cool, end result of a marketing campaign by engineers tired of getting kicked around due to their affinity for pocket protectors.

Astroturf - A truly horrible idea for an athletic playing surface that's morphed into a truly horrible derision for political groups with whom you happen to disagree.

At-large City Council Races - Identity politics.
At-large City Council races have two political differences from the traditional district-based races. 1. They don't represent one small geographic area. 2. The ability to succeed is solely based on one's talents in cobbling together certain ethnic groups.  The idea that Houston's political races are "non-partisan" only really applies if you agree that, across the city as a whole, a Republican is no longer able to win a race against a well-funded Democratic challenger.  Because of this the race-winners are typically determined by who can rally together enough of Houston's racial and ethnic quilt to emerge victorious.

Austin - The capitol of Texas. The home of the University of Texas-Austin.
Being both the political and sociological capitol of Texas provides Austin with some problems.  The first is that, due to the current majority of Republican office-holders in the State what goes on behind the pink dome is typically out of balance with the cultural zeitgeist of the city itself.  The second is that the cultural identity of Austin is perpetually frozen in a time-warp.  Unwilling to build roads because of the evilness of the car and unable to build a good public transportation system due to a chronic lack of funds Austin exists in a time-warp with a 70's transportation infrastructure and a sense of cool (based mainly on South by Southwest) that outlived its useful life at the same time. The main argument why this is so centers around an overabundance of journalists wearing hip, trendy eye-wear whose writing has an impact on how the rest of the state functions.

Auto-Show, Houston - The best place in Houston to see last-year's car models while this-year's debuts are circling the globe at other auto-shows.